The Wonderful and Absolutely Kawaii Adventures of Sparklekit
by pillowrabbit
Summary: Sparklekit is born into ThunderClan. She is very special and very perfect, and little does she know that there is a prophecy that only she can fulfill...
1. Chapter 1

**Okay…so I was bored…and I wanted to see just how much of a crappy writer I can be. So I decided to write a badfic! :3**

**I hope you enjoy reading(or not)**

Prologue

Jayfeather blinked as he watched as the blue she-cat slowly appeared in the Moonpool. The she-cat said, "There is a prophecy!" Jayfeather gasped. All of the medicine cats gasped. Bluestar continued, "A kawaii kit will be born, and she will be cuter than any of the others! She will rise and rid the forest of the darkness evil!"

The medicine cats gasped again. "I wonder who this kawaii kit will be?!" Jayfeather exclaimed. Bluestar said seriously, "Only time will tell." Then she left. The others left back to their Clans.

**All flames are welcome. This is a badfic, after all.**


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 1-In deu beginnniuip

Sparklekit blinked open her pink eyes as the warm sunlight filtered into the den. Her glossy pink, green, and yellow fur was smooth and absolutely shining with perfection.

Her littermate, Pebblekit, grunted and looked away. The colors were so ugly and hideous! Unfortunatley, he was the only cat in the whole camp who thought that way about Sparklekit about that yes.

Sparklekit's and Pebblekit's mother, Cuteflower. She was the youngest cat who ever became queen, and her fur was hot pink with a pattern of flowers on it. She had two husbands: Toadstep and Onestar. She also liked to smoke weed.

She leanded down and dunged Sparklekit awake. "Wake up, my sweetie, " she cooed. "It's morning already."

Sparklekit stretched and yawend and flexed her perfect muscles yes. Her milky pink eyes were so bright and shiny.

Pebblekit flinched and looked away in horror. He shuddered, and backed out of the nursery.

When Sparklekit emerged, all of the other cats cooed and wrapped her in armfuls of love.

Not Pebblekit, of course. They ignored Pebblekit. After all, his normal dark grey fur was very ugly and his amber eyes were very disgusting. He was n ot at all kawaii and perfect like his sister, Sparklekit. He grumbled.

Firestar leaped up onto the Highledge and yowled, "LET ALL CATS OLD ENOUGH TO CATCH THEIR OWN PREY GATHER BENEATH DEH HGIHLEDGE FOR CALN MEETING!"

The cats immediately flooded into the clearing. Firestar continued, "It is time for Sparklekit and her brother to become apprenitces! I know that Sparklekit is only 5 weeks old, but she is so absolutely perfect that she has to be an apprentice right now!" The Clan yowled their approval.

Sparklkiet unfurled her purple wings and flew to the top of the ledge with Firestar. She stood proudly with her chest puffed out. Firestar said, "Sparklekit, you will be known as Sparklepaw. Your mentor will be Lionblaze." Sparklekit whined, "AW, BUT I want you want to be my mentor." Firesta blinked kilyn and said, "I know, but Lionblaze will be a great mentor. He is the best fighter in the clan, after all."

After the ceremony, Lionblaze and Sparklekit padded out f the camp. Lionblze said, "Okay, I will teach you to hunt LOL." Sparklekit said, "It's alright, I already know how. Watch me."

She dove into the undergrowth and came back with a dead mouse in her jaws. Lionblaze's EYES popped out of his sockets. "OMIGOSH YOU RE SO PERFECT AND SPECIAL!" he yowled.

Meanwhile, Pebblekit was sitting in a corner. He muttered sadly, "I can't believe everyone forgot about me."

His mother, Cuteflower, spotted him and said, "Hey, son, wanna smoke weed with me?"

Pebblekit was shocked. "What?! I'm only a kitten! And since when did cats smoke weed?"

Cuteflower shrugged, and left. Pebblekit rolled his eyes. Was he the only sane cat in the whole forest?

Just then, Pillowrabbit came and threw cheeseballs everywhere. The cats screamed in joy.

Lionblaze bounded into the camp and howled, "FIRESTAR! SPARKLEPAW IS SUCH A SUPER HUNTER WE SHOULD MAKE HER A WARRIOR RIGHT NOW!"

Firestar agreed. He said, "Sparklepaw, you will now be known as Sparkledesu. Congratulations!" All of the cats cheered for her. Sparkledesu looked shyly.

Firestar sudeenly leaned towards her and whispered, "Will you be my mate?"

Pebblekit leaped to his paws and hissed, "What?! This is satanic! She's only a five week old kit! And her mother, Cuteflowr, is your daughter! This is incest!"

Firestar glared at him, and ordered, "Toadstep, Brackenfur, I order you to kill him."

Pebblekit's boring amber eyes grew wide, "WHAT?"

The warriors killed him. He died.

Sparklekit felt sad that her brother was dead, but she decided that Firestar would be her mate. She was happy.

Cuteflower and her two husbands cheered lowdly for her. Firestar said, "I want kits."

Sparkledesu said, "Okay." And she pooped out ten kits. Firestar said, "I want to name the blue one Breadkit, and the pink and white one Nyankit, and the rainbow one Fruitkit, the shiny silver one Discokit, the one with the fluffy wings Goodkit, the banana flavored one Girlkit, the—"

Sparkledesu yowled angrily, "Stop! You can't name all of them! They're my kits too!"

And she named the rest Bloodkit, Babykit, Sissykit, and Annoyingkit.

Pebblekit snorted, "What kind of names are those?" And then the warriors came and killed him to death again.

**OKAY THAT IS THE END OT THIS CHAPPIE, PLEASE NOE FLAMES OKAY? I HATE FLAMETRS LOLOLOLOLOL!11!1!**

**Naw, I'm joking. All flames are welcome. And I love flamers :3**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-When RiverClan attacks!

Crookedstar stood proudly on his prpule velve t throne. His crown sad shiningly on top of his head. He had had plastic surgery so his jaws wasn't crooked anymore.

He delicately sipped wine and tasted crumpets. Suddenly, Reedwhisker darted into the chamber and yowled, "Corokedstar! Crookedstar~ ThunderClan is raising a Mary Sue! We have to terminate her before her illness spreads to the whole forest!"

He blinkied in confusion at the leader. "And what happened to Leopardstar?"

Crookedstar meowed, "She's dead, remember? The elalder is supposed to be Mistystar."

And, then, suddenly, it dawned on him and his mind whriled into action. He leaped to his paws, splashing the wine everywhere. He put on his red cape and smoothed his mustache.

Suddenly, a tall Twoleg in a black suit appeared. The cats frozed at the unfamiliar stranger.

The Twoleg's hair was neat and hung in bangs, and he appeared to be some sort of butler. He bowed and said, "I am Sebastian Michaelis at your service, my lord." He squinted at the cats and realed back in horror. "Oh darn it! Am I in the wrong fanfiction _again_?" He turned and left in a huff.

Crookedstar blinked. Then he shook his head and yowled, "Onward, to ThundeClAN!"

OOoOoOOOoOoOoOoO

Sparklekit watched in horro as RiverClan cats surged into th e camp. Cuteflower was so high and stupid that she was the first cat wh o got killed. Sparkledesu was supposed to be the second, but luckily, all of the cats tried to defend her (she was just sooo pretty that everyone wanted to protect her)

The RiverClan cats suddenly retreated and left. Sparkledesu breathed a sigh of relief, and then spang onto the Highledge and she yowled at the top of her lungs and she said, "My kits have all fought bravely. They shall have their warrior names! Breadkit will be Breadfish, Nyankit will be Nyanrainbowkitty, Fruitkit is Fruitloops, Disokit will be Discoballs, Goodkit is Goodshine, Girlkit is Girlspaz, Bloodkit is Bloodred, Babykit will be Babyface, Sissykit will be Sissyheart, Annoyingkit is Annoyingorange, and Mankit will be Manboob."

"Breadfish! Nyanrainbowkitty! Fruitloop! Discoballs! Goodshine! Girlspaz! Bloodred! Babyface! Sissyheart! Annoyingorange! Manboob!" the cats chanted happily.

Some of them passed out for lack of oxygen because they didn't breathe enough.

To be continued…


End file.
